now i'm busy with this sharedball thing, so each one that connects gets his own
ball.. (with attach function)
but now i want do de-attach when someone leaves. this someone might not be
interested in clicking logout... (or disconnect) and he will click the window
right away..

the ball will remain on screen ofcourse. now i want it to be de-attached when
someone closes the (IE) window. I think this could be done by javascript but
not everyone has javascript on, so thats not a good choise. Perhaps it could be
done by some inside code in the SWF..

any help would be appreciated

There are a few ways this can be done, but all of them require that you start
identifying your clients one way or another.

The simplest way to do this is to set up a shared object with properties for
each user, and have the clients respond to changes to those properties.

If you have the PFCS book, there's a chapter with a chat component (chapter 15
I believe) that illustates this quite well There are samples on the website
(flash-communications.net). When a client joins the chat, a property is added
to the SO, and the client side component adds the UI elements and handles the
stream connections for the user. When the client leaves the room, the property
in the SO is removed, and the clients respond accordingly.

So, yes, you'll add some code to the .swf, but you'll also add some code to
your SSAS.